I'm nothing but a pile of parts My brain, but someone else's heart Result of some mad science act I find this out after the fact Silent on the slab I lie Lightning leaps into the sky Life returns to those who died Suddenly I am alive Slowly I rise Open someone else's eyes These hands they were another man's Just part of my maker's plan It seems that I was slowly built Put together like a patchwork quilt Now here I am a thing alive With an instinct from my pieces to survive It didn't take me long to see The villagers were carrying a torch for me I fled though it's they who should be afraid Of such a beast as I so frightfully made Everywhere I go it's all the same The locals drive me out in fear, I leave in shame The children are equally unkind They even say I have a big behind But the name that they call out, it isn't mine My maker's name is Frankenstein One time I made a friend and on a whim I tried to teach the little girl to swim It ended badly, a sin to match the fall My maker made a monster of us all

We weighed anchor at Liverpool Up the Mersey to the sea At last my dreams were coming true Upon the water I'd be free Our final destination Was the port of Amsterdam But we were bound for slaughter Like unsuspecting lambs I'd joined the Royal Navy As many young men do With a brace of salty citizens To serve as cook and crew We'd set out from the mainland But all too quickly learned Our captain was a man possessed And so our fortunes turned When I was a young man I dreamed about the sea I dreamed she was a thing alive Calling out to me Now here I am a grown man Just one of many slaves I curse the day I went away Upon her dark black waves The captain stood upon the deck With madness in his eyes He spoke in tongues we'd never heard And made the waters rise The H.M.S. Calypso was bobbing like a cork Sussex in the crows nest wailed as the lightning forked It struck and the lit the world up as something pulled us fast A tentacled behemoth split the deck and broke the mast The hull was crushed, the Kraken drank us deep into it's maw And that unholy horror was the last thing that we saw When I was a young man I dreamed about the sea I dreamed she was a thing alive Calling out to me Now here I am a dead man Her waters are my grave She pulled me down and there I drowned Beneath her black waves I am one of many To suffer this same fate The darkness calls the sailor And patiently she waits. The waves lap like a lullaby Inky rhythms fore and back And how great is this dark abyss? There's surely none more black When I was a young man I dreamed about the sea

Out of the sky Hot August night Blistering fire Blinding light Falling and fast Like a bolt from above Never knew friendship Never knew love Bruno, the one-winged dragon Breathing fire, his tail a-waggin' He never spoke with Bilbo Baggins Bruno, the one-winged dragon Everyone said He'd never fly He proved them all wrong But it took a few tries. Took out a forest Crashing and burning Trying to conquer Takeoff and turning Now he's the master Of all he surveys Circling above To fill in his days Bruno, the one-winged dragon Breathing fire, his tail a-waggin' He never spoke with Bilbo Baggins Bruno, the one-winged dragon Citizens cowered To see Bruno soar Until one day they welcomed His flame and his roar Another fierce dragon Had come from the north To burn and to pillage To raid and so forth Until Bruno defeated him With his one-winged might Bolting out of the sky On that hot August night Bruno, the one-winged dragon Breathing fire, his tail a-waggin' He never spoke with Bilbo Baggins Bruno, the one-winged dragon Bruno struck first Claws and fire fast and firm Quickly destroying The great northern wyrm He roasted his victim All citizens came And shared in the feast While chanting his name Bruno, the one-winged dragon Bruno, Bruno, Bruno, Bruno, Bruno, Bruno, Bruno, the one-winged dragon Bruno, Bruno, Bruno...

Drifting Weightless Shifting Fearless Floating a feather Aerial endeavor Out of the nest now We'll survive somehow Soaring Swiftly Warm winds Lift me Gravity summons Slowly we plummet Diving and climbing Free and exciting Gently winging Sweetly singing Watchers adore us This life is for us For the birds for the birds For the birds for the birds This world is for us Heirs to tyrannosaurus This world is for us For the birds for the birds Feed us and cage us You merely enrage us Our ancestors ruled here So don't get fooled here For the birds for the birds For the birds for the birds You're keeping our spot warm Bringing your own harm This world is for us For the birds for the birds Both hawk and dove Are circling above Falcon and owl And all other fowl Calling Hooting Always Recruiting Preening Fanning Plotting Planning We're merely slumming Your time is coming We're kings of the air We see you down there Bombardier to pilot Things will turn violent A murder a flock Brush up your Hitchcock It's time for the birds

I saw you standing beside the ocean Your hair alive with peculiar motion You turned around and you caught me starin It's not like me to be so daring. Your beauty struck like a bolt of lightning Exhilarating and oh so frightening I couldn't speak I just stood there so still As if I'd lost all of my own will Just one look at you There's nothing I can do I am paralyzed By one glance in your eyes I am frozen here Not from worry or fear This love caught me off my guard Medusa, girl, you're makin' me hard You turned and slithered back into your cave Then came a hero to slay you, so brave He held a sword and shield from the gods A cloak and sandals I don't like your odds If I could move I would be at your side But I could not I just watched as you died From your neck a winged horse flew And a golden giant, girl what's inside you? Just one look at you There was nothing I could do I was paralyzed By one glance in your eyes Now I'm frozen here Not from worry or fear This love caught me off my guard Medusa, girl, you're making me hard Perseus was cool and he did not panic But that clash was far from titanic He takes a knapsack and picks up your head That's still alive though your body's stone dead I feel my body begin to unfreeze As Perseus mounts and takes off in a stiff breeze I shed a tear and compose this tune Medusa, girl, you're Gor-gone too soon And now magically I have been set free As Pegasus and Perseus soar I'm flesh and blood once more I start to leave but looking back Spy your snakes poking out of the sack Fortune's deck deals my final card Medusa, girl, you're leaving me hard I started hardening 'til I could barely sing And there I stood erect I was feeling stoned and all alone And mostly circumspect I've always gone for girls with snakes in their heads It's a type I can't resist But do you go to a beautician or a herpetologist?

Johnny plays with little Annie Doing things he shouldn't do Lifts her dress and spies her fanny In its perfect pinkish hue Next he moves on to Melissa Takes her by her dainty neck Punches her right in the kisser Johnny shows such disrespect Little Johnny Little Johnny Then he's off to hurt Virginia Johnny clearly doesn't care His streak of violence still continues As he drags her by the hair He pulls Pam's leg out of the socket Then does the same to Cindy's arm Victim trophies fill his pockets He doesn't see there's any harm Little Johnny Little Johnny Now it's Sally and Dolores He makes them fight to fit his whim The others watch, a silent chorus Surely something's wrong with him Before he can declare a winner He hears his mother sweetly say "Johnny, love, come eat your dinner" He puts his sisters dolls away Little Johnny Little Johnny

Over hills and through deep valleys Busy streets and darkened alleys Something follows right behind you Out of sight your nerves remind you What it is you can't quite say It's growing closer every day The constant feeling makes you flee From some dark force you never see What is it that lurks in shadow? A dark and omnipresent will If knowing's truly half the battle You've lost the war, it's coming still Don't dare to stop and turn around You cannot take a moments rest Anxiety grows more profound A crushing tightness in your chest Footsteps echo, whispers flit You're certain this is surely it The breath of doom moistens your neck Your heart beats fast, your nerves are wrecked How much longer can you go At such a pace? Soon you'll know You want to turn and steal a glance But you're too afraid to take the chance What is it that lurks in shadow? A dark and omnipresent will If knowing's truly half the battle You've lost the war, it's coming still Don't dare to stop or turn around You cannot take a moments rest Anxiety grows more profound A crushing tightness in your chest When was the last time that you slept Before this gruesome feeling crept? Your eyes are shot with streaks of red A throbbing pain surrounds your head Your palms are sweaty, muscles twitchy Throat is dry, your neck is itchy Stomach acid churns and rises An ulcerous cap to your physical crisis What is it that lurks in shadow? A dark and omnipresent will If knowing's truly half the battle You've lost the war, it's coming still Don't dare to stop or turn around you You cannot take a moments rest Anxiety grows more profound A crushing tightness in your chest You feel a failing in your knees You sense it's close. You start to wheeze You body struggles hard to find The means to keep up with your mind Such thoughts you have of the unknown Your weariness and fear has grown Until now it's not beyond belief The inevitable brings sweet relief What is it that lurks in shadow? A dark and omnipresent will If knowing's truly half the battle You've lost the war, it's coming still At last you stop to turn around Accept your fate like a long lost friend You turn and cry a silent sound It's time at last, this is The End

Here comes Lamarmadon Son of Tridecaron Terror of Tokyo Lamarmadon has got to go Call out the army men He's crushing the town again Bring airplanes, tanks and ships To fight off this apocalypse Here comes Lamarmadon, Lamarmadon is on his way The prince of monsters is here to ruinate your day Lamarmadon, 50 feet tall Just flails about and kills us all He smashed almost half of Japan On his way to Uzbekistan His fourteen heads on spiky necks Blast fire and acid as they flex His fourteen tails whip to and fro Destroying everything we know Here comes Lamarmadon Lamarmadon has crossed the waves Nothing lives within in his wake We might as well start digging graves His father, Tridecaron Was not much better than his son But somehow we quelled his wrath Before he murdered everyone The age of monsters has returned The age of humans fading fast Our cities trampled, crushed and burned Humanity breathing it's last What hope we have is small and faint One Hail Mary, one last resort If you don't hear back, then we have failed There'll be no good news to report The frightened masses try to flee Their efforts failing fruitlessly Lamarmadon just pushes through It's something he's compelled to do We launch our plan and pray it works And sure enough fourteen heads jerk And sniff the air for that perfume Of monster love at last in bloom Here comes Lamarmadon We've gained a semblance of control We've laid a trail of pheromones That lead him to the northern pole He trudges northward steadily His basic instincts kicking in Our team assembles something crude Resembling the female of his kin When he makes it to the pole This princely someday monster king Sees our facsimile And goes and simply does his thing Three quick pumps and he's asleep He rolls right off and starts to snore His fourteen faces share a grin Our gambit paid off and what's more The ice is freezing him in place There's no more carnage to report So many lives saved and all it cost Was one more death, le petit morte Make love not war

One day I was swimming in the ocean When I felt a sort of tug It wasn't a shark bite just a small touch Like an underwater hug I swam to the shoreline Wond'ring the whole time Just what it could have been And I felt a bit slimy from a tiny patch Of kelp stuck to my skin I walked up the beach Back to my hotel Something called to me A sound and a smell Back in my room I felt something I craved I sat on the balcony watching the waves Finally went bed but couldn't sleep My mind sank to thoughts damp and deep Then a knock on the door startled me to rise I opened it up and she filled my eyes There was a creature in a t-shirt Standing in front of me She had a faint fishy smell But I could tell she was just the girl for me I'm in love love love love love love-iathan My heart gave me a shove and I took her by the fin I kissed her carapace where her smiling face probably would have been I'm in love love love love love love-iathan I knew it was her whose touch I felt When I was swimming earlier Despite her scales and her claws She could not be girlier She gurgled some words I couldn't understand But I knew just what she meant And we've been together on sea and land Since she was Heaven sent She's like an angel from the ocean depths From below and from above And no one who sees us can believe us They cannot fathom our love I'm in love love love love love love-iathan My heart gave me a shove and I took her by the fin I kissed her carapace where her smiling face probably would have been I'm in love love love love love love-iathan She took me down below scuba gear in tow To meet the parents who had spawned her They hoped our love would fade since we were different made But our hearts only grew fonder Ours is a love they cannot understand A soul match love's true essence I love her burbly voice her stalky eyes And her bioluminescence Friends say I'm out of my depth She's out of my league But they're twenty thousand wrong And I'm thrilled to say I'm on the hook to stay And so I wrote this song I'm in love love love love love love-iathan My heart gave me a shove and I took her by the fin I kissed her carapace where her smiling face probably would have been I'm in love love love love love love-iathan I love the nautical things she does Just because And I've seen plenty of fish in my day But I'm more than proud to sing out loud That she's the one that didn't get away I'm in love love love love love love-iathan I'm in love love love love love love-iathan I'm in love love love love love love-iathan I'm in love love love love love love-iathan

I first heard of the skunk ape when I was barely nine years old Uncle Roy had seen one and said it made his blood run cold He'd been out hunting squirrels when he heard a haunting high- pitched call And then he turned and saw it ten feet away and standing eight feet tall Roy stood still as an oak afraid to move, afraid to flee, But finally ran for his life and breathlessly confessed to me I saw the skunk ape, a reddish matted mass of hair I smelled the skunk ape and couldn't wait to get out of there I heard the skunk ape, his high-pitched wail froze me in place I fled the skunk ape but I'll never forget his gruesome face That night I lay awake in bed I couldn't even sleep a wink I kept imagining the creature; its' cry, its' fur, its' awful stink Every shadow frightened me, every object on the shelf But I knew I had to face my fear, I had to see this thing myself I had to see the skunk ape, to wrap my brain around it all I had to hear the skunk ape, it's eerie screech, it's plaintive call I had to smell the skunk ape, it's musty pungent foul perfume Would I flee the skunk ape as Roy had done or face my doom? I read everything I could, like Elkins Creek by James P Akin, But my fears did not abate they just grew worse and I was shaken But still I knew what I must do, so one night I went with Uncle Roy Out to his famous sighting spot That night a man would rise from the boy I went to see the skunk ape, to face what kept me up at night I went to hear the skunk ape, the sound that gave uncle Roy such fright I went to smell the skunk ape whose bitter scent would end my youth I wouldn't flee the skunk ape I'd stay and learn the awful truth We walked into that field to the very spot Roy told us of The air was strangely still, full moon and stars shining above We waited hours in that field just like Sally Brown and Linus did I began to think Roy was a liar and I was just a stupid kid We almost packed it in but then the slightest breeze drifted our way And on that breeze the foulest odor I had smelled up to that day We stood there back to back as out of nowhere it appeared And what I saw that night burned in my brain, and in my memory seared I saw the skunk ape, smelled the skunk ape, heard the skunk ape's scream I peed my pants, didn't take a chance, I left Roy and split the scene

Returning home from Cuba October 1962 The Russians lost a missile And there was nothing anyone could do They hushed it up as best they could Those who knew approved the plot But all involved are gone now It's just as if the world forgot Deep beneath the surface the missile lay and rusted out It's payload met the waters where ocean critters swam about Soon something was happening to all the creatures down below They changed and they evolved they mutated and began to grow One day a ship was passing the very spot where the missile lay The waters started roiling the ship went every which a way And as the captain's panic became clear to everyone aboard An enormous spotted eagle ray sent them all to meet their lord The creature wrapped its' giant fins around the ship and gave a squeeze The hull was crushed and water rushed in silencing the futile pleas And then almost as quickly as it had risen from the waves The eagle ray descended leaving thousands bobbing in their ocean graves Deep beneath the surface the missile shell became a shrine It's children of the atom grown by science and the march of time From all parts of the oceans they had come drawn by magnetic force All fed and grew massive on that single radiation source Goblin sharks and puffer fish and penguins from Antarctica Seals sea lions seahorses a whale half the size of South Africa The public soon became aware and found out how it all began World governments decided to clean things up And that's when the feces hit the fan They targeted the creatures all grown to such enormous size But nothing phased the massive beasts it only made their anger rise Jets and bombers dropped their loads and casually flew by As tentacles a half mile long shot up and plucked them from the sky The Navy fired their missile batteries with nervous and sweaty palms As gulls and puffins circled overhead sinking ships with guano bombs The penguins headed inland crushing buildings as they stormed the beach Sea turtles followed after laying giant eggs 50 pounds each And as the conflict continued the populace began to pray Many saw this as God's judgment for mankind's having gone so far astray Up from the Atlantic nature's mutated vengeance rose Wreaking havoc on surf and sand delivering a karmic dose Many thought the end was nigh and said their desperate prayers for peace And then a miracle answer came and birds' and beasts' aggression ceased The penguins marched back into the waters and quickly turned and headed south The puffins flew back north the whale spit warships from of its giant mouth The ocean calmed where moments before a war had raged at epic scale And we humans shrugged and wandered home Not quite sure how to tell the tale That tainted water above the shrine became an almost sacred zone That all mankind agreed should be for all time simply left alone And that's why to this very day we note the Cold War legacy Of one lone piece that went astray in the game between Krushev and Kennedy

Dance, dance, devil In the blood moon's light Dance, dance, devil To the symphony of night Blood of kings Blood of queens Courses through me But never fills my veins The taste of centuries The ancient past Dry upon my lips Never seems to last Dance, dance, To the heartbeat Dance, dance to the pulse Dance, dance I've been dancing This Transylvanian jig When I grow thirsty I tap a human keg I've danced eternally Time is on my side But when I feed my hunger I'm never satisfied Dance, dance, revolution Dance, dance, spin and spin I fear I grow weary Of this dance that I'm in. Dance, dance Dance, dance There's always an ending Nature will adjust I'll swing into the sunlight I'll lie in my own dust Dance, dance, to the music Dance, dance to the song Dance, dance, I've been dancing For so very long Dance, dance, to the drumbeat Dance, dance, to the tune Dance, dance, In the sunlight Goodnight, sister moon. Dance, dance Dance, dance Dance, dance Dance, dance devil In the blood moon's light Dance, dance devil To the symphony of night

Beneath the Lake of Infinity From a million years of sleep A great and fearsome entity Awakens from slumber dark and deep He stretches out his tentacles And yawns his gruesome yawn A vast horrific spectacle The age of monsters brand new dawn He rises from the waters' depths And sloshes to the shore His mass seems endless as he writhes And then he writhes some more At last he makes his way to town A backwoods, podunk spot He summons everyone around To meet in Wal-Mart's parking lot Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus The townsfolk gather at his whim And stare blank and enthralled They cannot take their eyes from him But someone speaks "Why were we called?" Astradackus lifts him high This peon who dares ask And says "You worm. You ask me why?!" His rage and anger red, unmasked Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus Hail, Astradackus "Yeah," the foolish man replies "I've got somewhere to be." Flames burst from Astrodackus eyes His hate so hot he cannot see And then another fool speaks out "Yeah, I was just about to eat So, what the heck is this about?" Others start to take a seat Astradackus shouts so loud The glass shatters for miles around He surveys the disrespectful crowd All seated now, or laying down "You are my minions all And must respect my ancient power I rule this spinning astral ball Disobey and I'll devour." Hey, Astradackus We're not your minions We may have feeble minds But we've got our own opinions We've been independent Since 1776 And we don't serve the likes of you So go on, hit the bricks The people stand and wander off Astradackus starts to weep He turns his mass with a mighty heave and says "Screw you guys, I'm going back to sleep."

I'm nothing but a pile of parts My brain, but someone else's heart Result of some mad science act I find this out after the fact Silent on the slab I lie Lightning leaps into the sky Life returns to those who died Suddenly I am alive Slowly I rise Get up, my son Open someone else's eyes Let me see what I have done These hands they were another man's Your hands, my father's hands Just part of my maker's plan I hope you understand It seems that I was slowly built For months I found your part Put together like a patchwork quilt Puzzle and a work of art Now here I am a thing alive You're alive at last With an instinct from my pieces to survive Risen from those long past It didn't take me long to see So proud to be your dad The villagers were carrying a torch for me Seems I made the neighbors mad I fled though it's they who should be afraid You flee, they cheer with joy Of such a beast as I so frightfully made My beautiful boy Everywhere I go it's all the same Out on your own you roam The locals drive me out in fear, I leave in shame You never find a home The children are equally unkind They jeer and make you cry They even say I have a big behind I like big butts, I cannot lie But the name that they call out, it isn't mine We are the same My maker's name is Frankenstein It is your family name One time I made a friend and on a whim Such tenderness most men forsake I tried to teach the little girl to swim Why did you throw her in the lake? It ended badly, a sin to match the fall You flee the angry policeman's call My maker made a monster of us all I made a monster of you all